LESSON 84

MY MOTHER’S PICTURE

我妈妈的画像

William Cowper, 1731-1800, was the son of an English clergyman; both his parents were descended from noble families. He was always of a gentle, timid disposition; and the roughness of his schoolfellows increased his weakness in this respect. He studied law, and was admitted to the bar, but never practiced his profession. When he was about thirty years of age, he was appointed to a clerkship in the House of Lords, but could not summon courage to enter upon the discharge of its duties. He was so disturbed by this affair that he became insane, sought to destroy himself, and had to be consigned to a private asylum. Soon after his recovery, he found a congenial home in the family of the Rev. Mr. Unwin. On the death of this gentleman, a few years later, he continued to reside with his widow till her death, a short time before that of Cowper. Most of this time their home was at Olney. His first writings were published in 1782. He wrote several beautiful hymns, “The Task,” and some minor poems. These, with his translations of Homer and his correspondence, make up his published works. His life was always pure and gentle; he took great pleasure in simple, natural objects, and in playing with animals. His insanity returned from time to time, and darkened his life at its close. When six years of age, he lost his mother; and the following selection is part of a touching tribute to her memory, written many years later.

Oh that those lips had language! Life has passed

With me but roughly since I heard them last.

My mother, when I learned that thou wast dead,

Say, wast thou conscious of the tears I shed?

Hovered thy spirit o’er thy sorrowing son,

Wretch even then, life’s journey just begun?

Perhaps thou gavest me, though unfelt, a kiss,

Perhaps a tear, if souls can weep in bliss.

Ah, that maternal smile! it answers—Yes!

I heard the bell tolled on thy burial day;

I saw the hearse that bore thee slow away;

And, turning from my nursery window, drew

A long, long sigh, and wept a last adieu!

But was it such? It was. Where thou art gone,

Adieus and farewells are a sound unknown.

May I but meet thee on that peaceful shore,

The parting word shall pass my lips no more.

Thy maidens, grieved themselves at my concern,

Oft gave me promise of thy quick return;

What ardently I wished, I long believed;

And, disappointed still, was still deceived;

By expectation, every day beguiled,

Dupe of to-morrow, even when a child.

Thus many a sad to-morrow came and went,

Till, all my stock of infant sorrows spent,

I learned at last submission to my lot;

But, though I less deplored thee, ne’er forgot.

My boast is not that I deduce my birth

From loins enthroned, and rulers of the earth;

But higher far my proud pretensions rise,—

The son of parents passed into the skies.

And now, farewell! Time, unrevoked, has run

His wonted course, yet what I wished is done.

By Contemplation’s help, not sought in vain,

I seem to have lived my childhood o’er again;

To have renewed the joys that once were mine,

Without the sin of violating thine;

And, while the wings of Fancy still are free,

And I can view this mimic show of thee,

Time has but half succeeded in his theft,—

Thyself removed, thy power to soothe me left.

【中文阅读】

那些亲切的话语啊！自从我听到他们仙逝后

生活伴随我走过。

我的母亲，当我得悉你已经撒手人寰，

说，你意识到我洒下的泪水了吗？

悲戚萦绕着你的儿子，

尽管那样，这个可怜的人，生活的旅程刚刚开始吗？

也许你给我的是冰冷的一吻，

也许是眼泪，如果芸芸众生能在祝福中涕泪。

啊，那充满母爱的微笑！它能回答一切——是的！

在下葬那天我听到丧钟慢慢敲响；

我看到令你厌烦的灵车缓缓而去；

从我那育儿室的窗前转过，发出

长长的叹息，哭着做最后的诀别！

是这样凄凉吗？是的。在你要去的地方，

诀别和再见是一种未知的声音。

唯愿我能在那静谧的海滨与你相见，

分离的话语不再从我唇边流出。

你的女仆们为我的处境悲戚，

经常向我保证你很快就会回转；

我热切地期盼，我一直这么认为；

失望依旧，依旧蒙在鼓里，

每天都陶醉在期望中；

明天还在欺骗，即使是一个孩子。

就这样，许多令人悲伤的明天来了又走，

直到耗尽了我所有童年的悲戚，

我最终学会了向命运屈服。

尽管我对你的思念少了，可是从未忘记。

我可以自夸的并非从我的腰部推论出，

我生来就是世界的主宰；

但是这样更令我引以为傲，

作为普通人的孩子湮没在天际。

现在，只有来世再见了！未及收回的时间已经走过

他习惯的路程，而我盼望的已经到来。

在冥想的帮助下，不会徒劳无功地寻觅，

我似乎又回到了童年时光；

重温曾经属于我的欢乐，

没有违背你的意愿所带来的罪恶感；

在想象的翅膀还能自由飞翔时，

我得以看到酷似你的一切，

岁月神偷也只功半，

走的是你的身体，你的精神力量留下来，我得到慰藉。