LESSON 21

IRONICAL EULOGY ON DEBT

欠债讽诵

Debt is of the very highest antiquity. The first debt in the history of man is the debt of nature, and the first instinct is to put off the payment of it to the last moment. Many persons, it will be observed, following the natural procedure, would die before they would pay their debts.

Society is composed of two classes, debtors and creditors. The creditor class has been erroneously supposed the more enviable. Never was there a greater misconception; and the hold it yet maintains upon opinion is a remarkable example of the obstinacy of error, notwithstanding the plainest lessons of experience. The debtor has the sympathies of mankind. He is seldom spoken of but with expressions of tenderness and compassion—“the poor debtor!”—and “the unfortunate debtor!” On the other hand, “harsh” and “hard-hearted” are the epithets allotted to the creditor. Who ever heard the “poor creditor,” the “unfortunate creditor” spoken of? No, the creditor never becomes the object of pity, unless he passes into the debtor class. A creditor may be ruined by the poor debtor, but it is not until he becomes unable to pay his own debts, that he begins to be compassionated.

A debtor is a man of mark. Many eyes are fixed upon him; many have interest in his well-being; his movements are of concern; he can not disappear unheeded; his name is in many mouths; his name is upon many books; he is a man of note—of promissory note; he fills the speculation of many minds; men conjecture about him, wonder about him,—wonder and conjecture whether he will pay. He is a man of consequence, for many are running after him. His door is thronged with duns. He is inquired after every hour of the day. Judges hear of him and know him. Every meal he swallows, every coat he puts upon his back, every dollar he borrows, appears before the country in some formal document. Compare his notoriety with the obscure lot of the creditor,—of the man who has nothing but claims on the world; a landlord, or fundholder, or some such disagreeable, hard character.

The man who pays his way is unknown in his neighborhood. You ask the milkman at his door, and he can not tell his name. You ask the butcher where Mr. Payall lives, and he tells you he knows no such name, for it is not in his books. You shall ask the baker, and he will tell you there is no such person in the neighborhood. People that have his money fast in their pockets, have no thought of his person or appellation. His house only is known. No. 31 is good pay. No. 31 is ready money. Not a scrap of paper is ever made out for No. 31. It is an anonymous house; its owner pays his way to obscurity. No one knows anything about him, or heeds his movements. If a carriage be seen at his door, the neighborhood is not full of concern lest he be going to run away. If a package be removed from his house, a score of boys are not employed to watch whether it be carried to the pawnbroker. Mr. Payall fills no place in the public mind; no one has any hopes or fears about him.

The creditor always figures in the fancy as a sour, single man, with grizzled hair, a scowling countenance, and a peremptory air, who lives in a dark apartment, with musty deeds about him, and an iron safe, as impenetrable as his heart, grabbing together what he does not enjoy, and what there is no one about him to enjoy. The debtor, on the other hand, is always pictured with a wife and six fair-haired daughters, bound together in affection and misery, full of sensibility, and suffering without a fault. The creditor, it is never doubted, thrives without a merit. He has no wife and children to pity. No one ever thinks it desirable that he should have the means of living. He is a brute for insisting that he must receive, in order to pay. It is not in the imagination of man to conceive that his creditor has demands upon him which must be satisfied, and that he must do to others as others must do to him. A creditor is a personification of exaction. He is supposed to be always taking in, and never giving out.

People idly fancy that the possession of riches is desirable. What blindness! Spend and regale. Save a shilling and you lay it by for a thief. The prudent men are the men that live beyond their means. Happen what may, they are safe. They have taken time by the forelock. They have anticipated fortune. “The wealthy fool, with gold in store,” has only denied himself so much enjoyment, which another will seize at his expense. Look at these people in a panic. See who are the fools then. You know them by their long faces. You may say, as one of them goes by in an agony of apprehension, “There is a stupid fellow who fancied himself rich, because he had fifty thousand dollars in bank.” The history of the last ten years has taught the moral, “spend and regale.” Whatever is laid up beyond the present hour, is put in jeopardy. There is no certainty but in instant enjoyment. Look at schoolboys sharing a plum cake. The knowing ones eat, as for a race; but a stupid fellow saves his portion; just nibbles a bit, and “keeps the rest for another time.” Most provident blockhead! The others, when they have gobbled up their shares, set upon him, plunder him, and thrash him for crying out.

Before the terms “depreciation,” “suspension,” and “going into liquidation,” were heard, there might have been some reason in the practice of “laying up;” but now it denotes the darkest blindness. The prudent men of the present time, are the men in debt. The tendency being to sacrifice creditors to debtors, and the debtor party acquiring daily new strength, everyone is in haste to get into the favored class. In any case, the debtor is safe. He has put his enjoyments behind him; they are safe; no turns of fortune can disturb them. The substance he has eaten up, is irrecoverable. The future can not trouble his past. He has nothing to apprehend. He has anticipated more than fortune would ever have granted him. He has tricked fortune; and his creditors—bah! who feels for creditors? What are creditors? Landlords; a pitiless and unpitiable tribe; all griping extortioners! What would become of the world of debtors, if it did not steal a march upon this rapacious class?

【中文阅读】

在古代的风俗习惯中，债是非常高级的东西。人类在历史上第一笔欠债，就是对大自然欠下的，人类的第一天性就是拖到最后一刻才还债。不妨观察一下，许多人都遵循这一自然程序，还没有还债就撒手人寰了。

社会是由两个阶层构成的，借主和债主。债主阶层被错误地认为更令人称羡。再也没有比这更大的误解了。人们保有这种观念是对错误固执己见的生动例子，尽管经验是最朴素的教训。人们对借主抱有悲悯之心，谈到他时都是一副亲切和同情的神情——“可怜的借主！”，还有“不幸的借主！”另一方面，“冷酷”和“铁石心肠”这些词语则一股脑安到债主头上。谁听到有人说过“可怜的债主”和“不幸的债主”？没有，债主从来不会成为悲悯的目标，除非他沦落到借主阶层。一位债主也许会被可怜的借主给毁掉，除非他连自己的债务也无力偿还了，他开始受人同情了，否则是不会的。

借主是带某种标志的一类人。许多双眼睛都盯着他呢，许多人都对他的安康感兴趣，他的日常活动受到人们关注；他不会销声匿迹，他的名字在很长时间里都挂在人们嘴边上。他的名字出现在许多账本上，他成了引人注目的人——对约定的关注；在许多人心里，他成了猜测的对象。人们对他妄加揣测，对他颇为好奇——好奇和揣测他是否会还债。他是事关重大的一类人，许多人在追逐他。他家被踏破门槛，每天无时无刻不受到询问。法官听说过他的大名，也了解他的情况。他吃的每餐，穿的每件衣服，他借的每块钱，在这个国家每个地方现身，都有正式的档案记录。不妨拿他的声名狼藉与债主的籍籍无名进行对比——债主在这个世界上除了讨债以外别无他事，一个地主或者放贷者，尽管很令人讨厌，尽管是个铁石心肠的角色。

这种按自己的方式挣钱的人，连邻居都不熟悉他。你问站在他家门口送奶的人，恐怕都说不出他的名字。你要是问屠户债主先生住在哪儿，他会告诉你说他认识的人里没有人叫这个名字，因为他的账本上没这个名字。你要是问面包师的话，他会告诉你说他的邻居里根本就没有这样的人。向他借钱的人很快就把钱揣进口袋里，不会对他这个人或正式名号多想。唯一知道的就是他家住在哪儿，31号门牌是借钱的去处，31号门牌是能借到钱的地方。没有一片纸上面记着31号。这是一幢大隐于市的房舍。它的主人谋世之道在于默默无闻。没有人了解他的情况，或者注意他的行踪。如果他家门口停着一辆马车，除非他驱车飞一样地跑掉，否则邻居是不会很在意的。倘若从他家里搬出行李，不会有人雇用几个小伙子盯着这些家什是否搬到当铺老板那儿。债主先生在大众心里没有什么位置，没有人对他抱以希望或者害怕他。

债主在人们的想象中始终扮演一个坏脾气的角色，孤家寡人，一头灰白的头发，总是闷闷不乐和专横霸道的样子，住在一间光线幽暗的房子里，生活乏味，守着一个铁柜，就像他的心一样无法一窥究竟，将他未必喜欢以及和他有关联的人也不高兴的东西放在一起。另一方面，借主在人们心中始终是一副一位妻子领着六个头发稀疏的女儿的形象，维系着她们的是爱和悲惨的生活，非常敏感，不容自己犯错。毋庸置疑，债主就像没有德性的窃贼。他无妻无子，没有人认为他应该有别的谋生手段。人们认为他坚持说自己必须得利，这样才能支付各种生活费用，这种做法是残忍的。无法想象人们竟然认为他的债主已经要求他务必让他获得满足，他对别人的做法必须像其他人对待他那样。债主是敲诈勒索的化身，他始终在索取，而不是给予。

人们愚蠢地猜想拥有财富是可取的。多么盲目啊！这不过是花钱和逗人取乐的游戏罢了。节约每一个先令，结果是为窃贼准备的礼物。审慎的人都是生活依据自己的需要。不管发生什么事情，他们都能渡过难关。他们会提前做好准备。他们已经预感到财富会降临到他们头上。“富裕的傻瓜，库里藏金。”这句老话只不过是用来告诫自己不要高兴过头而已，以备别人夺走了自己的钱财。瞧啊，这些人生活在恐惧之中，不难发现谁才是真正的傻瓜。你或许会说，你是根据他们拉长的脸而加以揣测的，当一个人脸上挂着因忧虑过度而陷于极度痛苦中的神情时，“有一个愚蠢的家伙幻想自己变得富有了，因为他在银行里存了50000美元。”最近十年来这种故事已经让我们明白了“花钱和逗人取乐”的寓意。一个人在活着时不论怎么储蓄，都是危险的。除了能给自己带来愉悦以外，没有多少确定性。观察一下眼睛盯着葡萄干糕饼的学童，就会明白其中的道理。聪明的孩子会像比赛一样快速吃掉糕饼，而愚蠢的孩子则节省着吃，只是咬一小口，“留起来下次再吃。”多么节俭的笨蛋啊！当其他孩子已经狼吞虎咽地吃下自己那份后，就会想办法吃他那份，抢他的，把他打得直哭。

在听到“贬值”、“中止借贷”和“进行清偿”这些术语之前，储蓄的话或许还有一些理由，但是现在储蓄意味着最盲目。在现阶段，借债的人倒成了审慎和富有远见的人了。这个趋势就是债主向借主割肉，而借主一方需要的是注入新的活力，每个人都急于迈入受到眷顾的阶层。无论如何，借主是安全的。他暗自窃喜，他们是安全的。没有任何财富轮转能扰乱他们。他搞垮的东西已经无可挽救了，未来不会困扰他的过去，他没有什么好担心的。财富已经比预期的让他受益更多了，他已经欺骗了财富，当然还有他的债主——呸！有谁会为债主鸣冤叫屈呢？债主都是些什么人？地主啊，冷酷和不值得怜悯的一类人；所有应该抓起来的勒索者！如果不对这个贪婪的阶层悄悄地进军的话，那么借主的世界会变成什么样子呢？